Sneezy & The Drought

6-10-07

…Boy, what a weekend so far…nothing but fam-damnily stuff. Puts my head in a punk.I think it's time to head out on the Derelict Mule.

I decided to try and find a way to the old Ridge Route above Castaic that was once the road that got you over the mountain to Bakersfield, before the Grapevine/I-5 existed.
I'd been up at the mouth several times, but the old road became too rock-nasty to thrash through on a good street bike. I knew someday I'd do it.
I still haven't.

Lovely morning. Took an easy lope up Sierra Hwy in to get my bearings sorted on the bike.
"Gee, the feels kinda bouncy",
"These earplugs make me feel too isolated"
"I have an itch I can't scratch"
"I have to take a leak again"
Chricky, I'm getting more like an old woman every day…

So I stopped to adjust, un-plug, scratch, drain, and otherwise resolve my issues.
Sometimes it's good to just stop and re-group.

There where lots and lots of costumed cruiser riders passing by going north as I pointed south.

I must say, I do look trajectly hip in my freshly washed second-owner BMW regalia…kinda like the rest of the cliché's riding in the opposite direction...

A lashing with a wet noodle to the first idiot that can tell me where this photo was taken…

I set my first generation/second hand $100 BMW Navigator to Spunky Canyon as first waypoint.
"I getting good at this stuff" thought I…piece of cake.
A sprint down Sierra, a bump over Vasquez Canyon, and up Bouquet Canyon…now that everything was in order, all seemed right with the world. Then again maybe it was just the Ibuprophen kicking in.

Spunky Canyon, sometimes I hate it, sometimes it's a blast. The GS handled it very well.

GPS settings to Ridge Route via 3 Points, CHECK! Up San Francisquito towards Lake Hughes Road…but wait...I remembered a road I'd always wanted to see. Fire roads that follow the Pacific Coast Trail, used for the Rim of the World Rally that crosses San Francisquito at the ridge. Excellent! Oh yeah…adventure. The sign sez NF6N-04, straight up the hill.

I drink, therefore I wander. The view from the ridge...

That's Bouquet Canyon way down there...

GPS set. Fork at NF701 and head in the general direction of north towards the Ridge Route.


What a pleasant surprise…the NF701 road table-topped at place called Drinkwater Flat.

Somebody left a plaque for Vince...don't eat da blintzes at Vince's....

The 360-degree view is great. Only one lone jogger gave me a dirty look…um, I as on the road not the trail, dude!

Old used GPS told me I had to back track and catch NF605 at the tri-fork to head in the general direction I wanted to go. Excellent!


NF605 is a lil' bit more technical.
Making good time I focus on the best line, doing my best Jimmy Lewis impression.
Arms relaxed, stand-up, ass-over the back of the bike. Beauty. The airhead handled great.
Tire pressure was perfect for this. Suspension settings right on. Heck, Little Jimmy was wishing for a tricycle when I sold my last dirt bike. Sheee-iiit! Mr Lewis got nuthin on...
I'm g-o-i-n-g…d-o-w-…OOOF!…

Son-of-a…F@c&K! What the?
O.K., your boot is stuck under the bike…reach over and switch off the key…CHECK!
Gas is seeping out the carbs and breather hose….shut off the petcock...CHECK!
Pushing the bike up with the free boot, I extricated myself from between the bike and the bearm.

Huff!... Puff!...! Gee, kinda got the breath knocked outta me!. Nice...Otherwise, no busted collarbone, oh, that's already busted, nothing jammed, bleeding , or otherwise, bruised.
I'm fine…this new-to-me gear did its job just fine. So much for that crisp, clean look.

My evil step-ma woulda give me a lickin' I'da got my best Sunday lookin' like this!

AH-CHOOO! WTF?
AHH-CHOOO!! ,,,better pick up the bike now.
AAAHHHCHHOOO!!!

Last bit of strength and upsy-dazy…bike up from the right side, me on the right side, bike in center of road on the center berm…all of a sudden I'm sweating profusely and wondering what to do next…how come they don't make sidestands on both sides??? Brilliant!
AAAHHHCHHOOO!!!

I managed to swing the left leg over like a drunk cowboy and get it going again…noticing the brake cylinder seemed to be leaking fluid, oh, the right front turn signal dangled by it's wire something from a slasher film…must find shade.
High noon on a ridge in California, no, there is no shade, sorry.

AAAHHHCHHOOO!!!

I managed to find a turnout to once more Re-Group.

AAAHHHCHHOOO!!!

Oddly enough I could see all the way over to Drinkwater where I'd just come from. Cool.


I took inventory of the bike and myself. Water, tobacco, and a good pair of dykes will fix things right up.
Check the GPS. Dead…no wait,, it's back up! ...telling me "Go back to asphalt, shortest route possible…you're not having any fun now…"
So I did.
AAAHHHCHHOOO!!!

Incerpt: My Fans have requested that I expound on what happened in my lttle mishap...in recall, I think the front end slipped off the center bearm on the fireroad and I may have tried to scrub speed by using the front brake...or not...

Found NF704 2.4 miles north which split off and trickled down thru some bad looking Baja-rocky stuff to a streambed. A very dry streambed. A typical San Gabriel's hidden oasis under a sreading cottonwood complete with diapers and un-recycled aluminum.,...deserted because there is no water here, at all.
So I beat it up and out onto the lower section of San Francisquito Canyon Road. Right where the water district lines come over the hill.

Out of the forest from whence I escaped... (whimpering and snotting sounds)...

I was thinking how ironic it was, this is the driest season on California record, and here I am just a few steps away from one of the largest water projects ever.


Just down the road a mile was the entrance to the L.A. County San Francisquito Power Plant. A sleepy little hollow up a crick known for the scene of the St. Francis Dam Disaster.

The power plant was hummin' but there wasn't much water…

I managed to pop-off a few pretty pics in between sneezing and sweating…this is my good side...


I parked on the lawn and then sneezed some more.

...and continued to sneeze my way thru the historical displays.

Then I sneezed and then I spit...and then I wondered if I was the first-ever idiot to actually spit inside his flip-up helmet.
Wheeze..

All that water...and 2 years ago we had one of the wettest seasons here in So Cal. San Francisquito completely washed out, as was sections of Bouquet, Little Tujunga, and others.

Right down the road from Power Plant 1 is Power Plant 2. A short hstory...

Most people down here know nothing about it. Some 500 peeps drowned or Dog knows what.
Billy Mulholland on the left, post-disaster.
I'm wondering if thats' bewilderment or dollar $igns coming out of his think-bubble...


This is the coolest part though.
The monument in Santa Paula to commemorate the mounted po-leece that warned people of the impending doom..

Lower San Francisquito is a best-kept secret for bikes, some of the nicest sweepers with a few tight turns.
Now that it's been rebuilt, it's sweeter than ever.

Some of the old sections remain.

Weird enough, you also ride by some nasty remains of the flood too. It washed all the way to Ventura...

It felt good to be back on pavement. Next time I'll find the Ridge Route, I swear it.
I turned up the wick to full tilt and felt like a warrior back from the front lines, bruised, dirty, on my wounded pony.
I'd crashed, my ribs feel compressed, I had a mystery weed fly up my nose, and I'd been sneezing continuously for 3 hours.
Oddly enough, I didn't want to quit. I felt way more intune with the bike than when I started...something to savour.

Bollocks to that. I went home and opened a cold one, and switced on MotoGP!

UH, AAAAAHHH, EH, CHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

disgusting narciss-ista!